When I moved into my own place, I realised I had no idea how to decorate it.

Not the cushions, not the colours, not even the mugs. I’d spent so long deferring that I genuinely didn’t know what I liked.

The cool girl trap

One of the most subtle things I noticed about my marriage (and I think most women will relate to this one) was how uber-agreeable I was about our home.

I was very ‘cool girl’ about what went into it. I didn’t want to rock the boat over a rug.

But here’s the catch. You start out being so chill and so easy about the cushions, and you don’t notice how quickly it spills into the rest of your life. Suddenly you’re second-guessing everything. Deferring to someone else’s opinion on what to wear, what to eat, where to go on the weekend. Which is insane. But it happens so slowly you don’t see it coming.

That’s why I’m so passionate about this. Working out what you like is really practice in trusting yourself again, and decor happens to be the easiest place to start.

Here’s how I worked it out.

Start with no

It’s easier to know what you don’t like. Walk through a shop and notice every time you think ‘not that’. Those reactions are data.

If you’ve spent years saying ‘sure, whatever you think’, your no muscle is probably a little weak. This is how you build it back up.

Screenshot everything for a month

Rooms, outfits, restaurants, colours. Don’t judge it, just save it. After a month, scroll back. The patterns will be obvious and slightly embarrassing.

Buy small first

A mug. A candle. A throw. Low-stakes purchases are how you test your taste without a lounge-sized regret. My under-$50 favourites live in Low Budget, Big Feature.

Notice what you reach for

The jumper you always wear. The café you keep going back to. Your habits already know what you like. You just haven’t been asking them.

Protect your yes

These days, I can’t stand it if I sense someone critiquing something I want to put in my house. I can take feedback on most things. But anything that makes me second-guess myself puts me straight back in that old role, and I did that for long enough.

You’re allowed to love something nobody else gets. You don’t need a second opinion on a lamp.

Let it be a mish-mash

My home now is a lovely mish-mash of things I like, trends I’ve tried and practicalities.

A touch of grandmillennial with a hint of Bauhaus. On paper it shouldn’t work. In real life it does, and honestly, it’s kind of how I feel most days.

That’s what I want for you, whatever your style turns out to be.

You don’t need a finished aesthetic by Friday. Taste is something you build, one decision at a time, with nobody to veto it. Which, frankly, is the best part.

Everything I’d buy again is in New Place, New Plot.

xox Meghan